Our Definition of Beauty

 

Singer/Songwriter Candice Sand talks about how our definition of beauty affects our body image and leads to eating disorders.

Here are the words to the poem Candice read – which she wrote once she had finished her treatment for her own eating disorder.

Closed Doors
Tied to the bed by my mind
Paralyzed
Eyes puffed up
framed by broken blood vessels
I stare though the stucco ceiling
and beat these questions endlessly
Am I fat or thin?
Should I eat or starve?
I know the privilege of the choice
but I see her thighs, waist, hips
I want them as my own
Why aren’t they my own?

I hollow myself out like a jac-o-lantern
But what if there is some residue left?
attaching itself to my body
making a monster of me?
My knuckles scratched raw and red
and for what?
A cool tear dampens my ear
I breathe in deep and quiver
Why aren’t they my own?

I can never rationalize this need
and oh how I plead with myself
But what if I find myself again
behind a locked door
faucet running high
and praying that no one can hear
We all have skeletons
We all act like we don’t
Why aren’t they my own?

~ Candice Sand
Copyright © 2013 Candice Sand

 

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